‘Bullet Train’ is a Fast-Paced, Wild Ride From Start to Finish  

Bullet Train stars Brad Pitt, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Brian Tyree Henry, Joey King, Bad Bunny, Zazie Beetz, Andrew Koji, Hiroyuki Sanada, Logan Lerman, Michael Shannon, and Sandra Bullock.

What do you get when you put John Wick into Murder on the Orient Express? You get Kōtarō Isaka's impressive novel Maria Bītoru (Maria Beetle). And what do you get when you let action aficionado David Leitch direct the adaptation of the novel? You get Bullet Train’s two hours of epic, insane, and surprisingly fun chaos.

Despite my initial reservations about Isaka’s novel being adapted for western audiences, Zak Olkewicz’s screenplay pays respect to it, while transforming elements of it that build on its excellence. Combined with Leitch’s nack for hair-raising action, the cast’s kinetic energy and chemistry, and the sheer absurdity of the comedy of errors unfolding aboard the bullet train, Bullet Train is an invigorating and wholly entertaining ticket to fun. 

Brad Pitt stars as Ladybug, a somewhat reformed assassin who has been doing a lot of soul-searching, introspection, and therapy. Despite all of this, his handler Maria Beetle (Sandra Bullock) calls him in to help with an assignment after his co-worker Carver calls in sick. Little does he know, he’s getting ready to board a mayhem-filled train filled with assassins who are all on interconnecting assignments. 

There’s Tangerine (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) and his “twin brother” Lemon (Brian Tyree Henry), a Thomas the Tank Engine enthusiast, who has been tasked with collecting White Death’s (Michael Shannon) hapless Son (Logan Lerman) and a briefcase filled with money—a briefcase which happens to be Ladybug’s own assignment. Then there’s Yuichi Kimura (Andrew Koji) who has boarded the train in search of the assassin responsible for pushing his son off a roof, and winds up caught in the crosshairs of The Prince’s (Joey King) psychopathic scheming. And there’s The Wolf (Benito A Martínez Ocasio) and The Hornet (Zazie Beetz) who have their own vengeful reasons for boarding the bullet train to Kyoto. There is also The Elder (Hiroyuki Sanada), a third-act arrival on the bullet train that changes the entire trajectory of the story. Oh yeah, and there’s also a highly venomous snake lurking beneath the seats. 

Isaka’s novel was a very intelligent comedy of errors and the film carries that essence straight through to the end, even amidst the outlandish and implausible action sequences. At its core, Bullet Train is a satire that pokes fun at fate, fealty, and fruit—even still, the film, like the novel, manages to balance that sheer insanity with brilliant threads of deeper meaning. Even though you might need to shut your brain off to really enjoy it, it’s still oddly smart in its execution. Just like the bullet train, it never stops delivering fast-paced dialogue, larger-than-life action, and an intricate spiderweb of connectivity. Still, the issue of the Bullet Train’s whitewashing issue remains something that will stay at the forefront of the conversation around it, despite the author’s comments about being largely apathetic to the Hollywood-izing of the story, something he envisioned for the novel while writing it. 

The Bullet Train’s makeup department deserves a round of applause for their efforts on the film. As is the nature of the film, the assassins—particularly Ladybug, Lemon, and Tangerine—engage in quite a bit of hand-to-hand combat, and with each new headbutt, punch, and whack, the makeup department ensures that the wounds go through the full process. From busted lips to bruised brows, the wounds blossom from faint injuries to aggravated swollen lumps.  

Bullet Train is weird and wacky, filled with a color palette almost as vibrant as the cast of larger-than-life characters that bring to life its insanity. The film’s heart-pumping (and stopping) action is set to a kickass soundtrack, including Japanese covers of some of the most iconic rock tracks, which will leave you vibrating with excitement. Especially if you’re watching the film on an IMAX screen, which allows you to see, hear, and feel every twist and turn of this chaotic ride.

Final Verdict

A-

Bullet Train is an exceptionally fun trip to the cinemas. Pitt gives a downright hilarious performance, reaffirming that he is one of the greats, while Henry and Taylor-Johnson give him a run for his money as the best of the film’s cast. The essence of the book, which I fell in love with when I first read it, remains the heart and soul of this whacky comedy of errors, and it’s worth the price of admission for the hilarious cameos alone. Trains might crash, but the Bullet Train certainly isn’t a train wreck.

Bullet Train pulls into the station on August 5.